


guardian? for her.

by falconite



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angsty Cap I guess?, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, i love angst okay?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconite/pseuds/falconite
Summary: Steve Rogers has never been particularly good with his emotions. But there's one thing he's good at: protecting people. Or maybe not? Being strong is great, he has to admit that. But what good was going to come out of being a super-soldier, when he was not even able to protect those he loved and cherished the most?Angst-riddled fic, just saying this beforehand.





	guardian? for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Just a quick note, english is not my native language. I just happen to study it at university - so if you spot any mistake, please let me know! I'd be more than happy to correct myself, so as to make things easier for everyone out there to read.
> 
> And if you like this, then please comment! Leave your thoughts below, if anything else, your criticism helps me improve greatly and I would appreciate that.  
> Other than that, please enjoy!

  
_Bright lights, neon colors and intoxicating smokes were speeding way past his cerulean wary eyes. Passing him so fast, they were almost impossible to distinguish from one another. Buildings merged into one indefinite shape, as the sound of his motorcycle filled up his ears. The sound of his heartbeat synching to the beat of the outside world. And then everything was lost._  
_Nothing but the emptiness of darkness that enveloped him as he fell, victim of gravity at last._

_A loud bang echoed through the night, resonating through the dark and empty alleys. Sprawled across the mostly-empty street, Steve Rogers laid there, conscious but unmoving. Gasping for breath with his eyes sewn shut, too afraid of what he might see had he opened them._  
_The background sound of sirens barely registered in his hazy brain. The star-spangled man with a plan was too focused on trying to understand what exactly had happened. His mind was frantically working, one hundred miles per hour, trying to piece together his last few memories, but to no avail. It seemed like his mind was too scattered to even respond to his request._

_They had been speeding off on his motorcycle, this he remembered – which was something recklessly uncommon for him to do. He liked to play things safe, knowing fully well that there was a risk to everything. A risk he was not willing to take._  
_But in this case, he could not say no to her. When she had reached for him, asking for a ride, he had to agree to it. Even if it meant risking his safety, as long as it made her happy. He was sure anyways, that if something was to happen he could’ve easily protected her._  
_He was Captain America, after all._  
_But this, he had not predicted for this to happen. Never once in his mind had he imagined something like this happening. And it was disappointing, really – for the first time in his life, the star-spangled man with a plan did not have one._

_He tried to get up, feeling his whole body scream out in pain, sore and numb, chilled to the very bone. But he pushed through – after all, Steve Rogers had been through far worse and gotten out alive. He gently pushed away the thousand of hands that were trying to keep him down, slowly getting up to his feet. His hand flew almost immediately to his head, and… it happened. It hit him._  
_Her body laid sprawled across the street, in a similar fashion to the way his was just mere seconds ago. But unlike him, she did not seem willing to wake up. She was soaked, drenched to the bone, her hair sticking to her sickly pale face. Her once-lively eyes were sewn shut, no sign of them opening any time soon. Her chest barely seemed to move, struggling to breathe in and out. Steve gulped down hard, his throat suddenly drier than the desert. It almost felt like he was swallowing sandpaper and – to be honest – he would much rather swallow that than have to see her in that state._  
_“Oh, no. Oh, no.”_  
_It was all he could say, really. Rushing to her side, the hero kneeled, placing one careful hand on her shoulder, afraid his touch would break and damage her further beyond repair. He did not want to lose her to a stupid mistake, but it seemed like things were not smiling down on him. When did they ever smile on him, anyways? It felt almost like relieving the memories of Bucky all over again. Except this time there was no Peggy to run to – his Peggy laid in front of him, knocked unconscious._  
_“Hey.” he gave the unconscious girl a hopeful – yet desperate – smile. “Wake up, will you?”_  
_His mind had gone completely blank and he was not able to process thoughts straightly. How could he let this happen? The same thing he had promised himself he would not do, the one thing he did not want to take place. How could he have been reckless?_  
_Haze, everything started blurring out in front of his eyes, as he stood – unmoving, as if he had been frozen. And it felt way worse than his seventy years spent frozen in ice. No, this kind of frozen he did not like, nor did he want to experience ever again. He would’ve gladly taken the seventy years of popsicle-time, if it meant he could’ve saved the girl’s life from ruin._  
_Oh, he would never forgive himself if something permanent was to happen to her. He had to stop putting her in danger, he needed… he needed to get her away from him, as much as that hurt him._  
_Just the thought made his heart ache, but if that meant helping her, then Steve was willing to sacrifice his happiness for her._

_Nothing else seemed to register in his brain after that. Not even the hushed voice and the soft touches of hands that were trying to lead him away from the girl. Nothing else mattered in that moment, nothing else was important beside the realization that hit him – he had ruined her life. And he would never forgive himself for that._  
_As if to further confirm it, the loud sound of the ambulance’s door being shut seemed to scream that at him. And Steve had never felt guiltier, he had to get out of there._  
_“Hey kiddo, you okay?” An old man looked at Steve straight in the eyes, and the young man had to look away, fearful that everything might show through his cerulean orbs. He had never been good at lying anyways, she had always told him that. ‘Your eyes give it away, really.’ she had laughed one day, as they jogged down Central Park – something he felt had become almost like a ritual to the both of them. ‘It’s like looking straight into your soul. You can’t hide anything from me, or anyone else for that matter.’_  
_“I-” Steve stopped for a moment, pondering over what he should say next. “I’m a bit worried for my friend. Do you think she’s going to be okay?” he admitted, looking straight into the black orbs of the man. There, he confessed it – well, for the most part anyways. Anxiety rushed through him, as he waited for an answer. Anything that would put his mind to ease and soothe his soul._  
_“I think she will be just fine.” The man gave him a pat on the back, a smile growing on his aged face. “But to be sure of it, why didn’t you get in the ambulance with her?”_  
_“I-” again, Steve Rogers was at a loss for words. Why didn’t he follow her? No, the real question was, how could he follow her? How was he supposed to allow himself to follow her, after what he had done?_  
_“You’ve got a good heart kiddo, don’t blame yourself too much for what happened.” The old man was reading right through him, and it made the captain almost uncomfortable. “Things like this happen all the time, no one would be able to prevent them. Not even the Avengers!” the white-haired male stopped for a moment, pondering over his next words. “And they save the world!”_

_As he watched the ambulance speeding off, sirens blaring through the city in their wake, he couldn’t help but wonder. People were starting to retreat back into their lives. The only memory was his motorcycle, still laying on the ground. The old man’s words mulled in Steve's head and he couldn’t help but smile bitterly at the thought. The man had made a spot-on comparison, without even realizing it._  
_After all, he was right. What good was going to come out of being a super-soldier, when he was not even able to protect those he loved and cherished the most?_


End file.
